This afternoon, I received a phone call from a principal requesting a subsitute teacher for Monday. For an instant, I was happy to get back to work on a part-time basis. I figured a half a day each week would be easily manageable and would also provide a nice supplement to my EI benefits. But this request was for a long-term occasional position and I was not quite prepared for that. Sadly, I felt I must decline the invitation. There was absolutely no way I could tear myself away from my little girl for more than a few hours, let alone five consecutive work days. Part of the reason I wanted to supply teach until the end of my parental leave was to slowly ease back into teaching and gradually wean myself from my baby. It turns out that the principal was in a bit of a predicament and asked if I could at least supply teach on Monday so that she could have more time finding a subsitute willing to fill the long-term position. After speaking with my mother-in-law, who has kindly offered to babysit, I decided I would try a whole day's work.

I know I'm going to have nightmares this weekend. I usually do prior to returning to work such as in September or after the holidays in January. These nightmares usually consist of arriving at work late, not knowing where my class is located, being unprepared to teach a lesson or constantly going off topic. They usually take place in slow motion and I often end up getting lost in a maze of endless hallways. Which reminds of that movie "Labyrinth." I remember that I really enjoyed it as a kid. I think David Bowie played the antagonist... yes, he did. He was such a great singer, wasn't he? I mean, he is a great singer. Or is he retired? Because that sentence would then require the past tense. Or is that the imperfect tense? And why would they call it the imperfect tense? I should probably check out the etymological roots of the word imperfect. You never know when it might come in handy. Now, what was I talking about?

After one month, a total of 12 people voted on their diaper brand of preference. As you can see from the summary below, Pampers received the most votes, including my own. Generic Brands came in second and Huggies tied for third with other brands.

Huggies 8%

Pampers 50%

Generic Brand 33%

Cloth diapers 0%

Whichever are on sale 0%

Other 8%

Stay tuned for next month's poll...

For my first year of teaching, I was given the unique position of Primary Program Teacher. This allowed me the opportunity to teach several "fun" subjects such as Visual Arts, Music, Drama/Dance and Physical Education. I especially loved teaching the latter, mainly because I got a good workout warming up with my students as well as escorting them up and down three levels of stairs, but also because I got to wear comfortable gym clothes two days out of five. As a firm promoter of the "safety first" protocol, I would always teach my students about proper apparel as well as prevention of accidents by seeking out potential dangers, such as loose shoelaces. So it is with great dismay that I report the calamitous events of Tuesday past.

I went to my mother-in-law's house to take her to her doctor's appointment that afternoon. Before we left, Madeleine had dirtied her diaper and required a good bum bath. So my mother-in-law took her into the washroom to clean her up. As she was doing so, I noticed that I had left the car seat on the floor next to the bathroom door and thought for a split second that it could be a potential trip hazard. I quickly turned it sideways and pushed it tight against the wall, thinking nothing more of it. I returned to the kitchen to prepare Madeleine's formula only to freeze dead in my tracks as I heard a loud clatter followed by a thunderous bang. My father-in-law, also in the kitchen, jumped out of his chair. I waited for the crying. There was none. Horrific visions instantly entered my mind and I quickly ran to the next room. I was shaking. Was Madeleine alright? Yes, thank God! Was grandma alright? That remains to be seen.

It turns out she tripped over the car seat, which I had left on the floor in a high traffic area. Seeing the buffet table in front of her, she chose not to steady herself on it because she thought in those mere split-seconds that Madeleine might hit it. So she sacrificed her knee by falling directly on it and managing to keep my precious child scratch-free. After the initial shock, grandma carefully sat herself in a chair and rolled up her pant leg. She thought she crushed her knee. She felt instant swelling and immeasurable pain. Thankfully, she was able to walk on it. She went to the hospital later that week. X-rays confirmed that she did suffer a minor fraction but that her lower back pain may have been due to degenerative causes.

My mother-in-law now has to wear a brace in order to immobilize her knee. She is having an MRI done tomorrow. The bruising has spread. And I feel AWFUL. If only I had listened to my instincts and moved the car seat entirely out of the way... Then maybe my mother-in-law's leg wouldn't look like this:

Tomorrow is Sunday. It's supposed to be a day of rest. And after a night like last night I'm looking forward to rest. Madeleine woke up 6 times last night. SIX TIMES! She's never waken up that many times before. Never. I couldn't believe it. Each time I would pick her up, she'd fall back asleep only to wake up 2 minutes later. At one point, she was wailing so loudly I thought I would take her downstairs and change her diaper or try a bottle of formula or something. I wasn't sure what I should do. She'd never been this restless before. I did notice she put her entire fist in her mouth so I figured that this would finally be the day that her first tooth would appear. But I didn't feel anything. She continued to cry and I couldn't calm her down. She just kept on wailing. My husband quickly got out of bed to join us and we decided to try giving her some Tylenol. She grimaced at the taste but I think it sort of shocked her out of crying. She was still upset so after changing her diaper, I resorted to nursing her in our bed. Thankfully, she fell asleep and three hours later I put her back in her crib. Sure enough, she woke up about an hour or so later. Actually, I'm not sure how long it was. The time didn't matter at that point. I was just desperate to get some decent shuteye, as my husband was I'm sure. So I decided to let him get some sleep and I did my best to keep Madeleine entertained. She eventually went down for her morning nap and I couldn't have been any happier. I sluggishly pulled myself into bed where I slept like a baby until noon. I don't know when it was that my husband dragged himself out of bed to tend our fussing baby but I do recall relishing the warmth and spaciousness of our queen-sized bed.

I still feel like a could have used a few more hours. I should really be in bed right now. I keep hearing Madeleine stirring and sighing and letting out the occasional whimper. In fact, I hear her right now. That's my cue to end this post...

Please be advised that Toronto Teacher Mom Blog is undergoing some aesthetic changes. Your patience and understanding is greatly appreciated.

I've been tinkering around in the template codes and I'm amazed at what I've figured out. I started by removing borders. Then I started editing the color codes. Then I deleted and added images. I moved things here and there. And I've done all of this several times. This is what I have so far. I like it but it still needs touchups. Editing HTML code is almost more addictive than blogging!

I hope all my readers enjoy the new look. Don't be surprised if it changes again. I just can't help myself!

You must check out this video clip. Especially if you could use a good giggle!

Enjoy!

Madeleine has been enjoying her jars of organic pureed fruits and veggies, as well as her organic barley, rice and oatmeal cereals. But lately, she has not shown much of an appetite for her favourite foods. I know it is because of her teething. It is just a bit worriesome sometimes when it appears that she is not eating as much as she used to. The other day I noticed her pincer grip. She has begun to pick up smaller objects with her forefinger and thumb and guide them precariously to her wide open mouth. I recall having read somewhere that when a baby has mastered the pincer grip, that it was an indication that you could feed them finger foods like Cheerios. I didn't have any O's on hand so I tried breaking some rice rusks into small pieces and placed them on her tray. Happily, she was able to pick them up and place them in her mouth. At least, some of the time. At other times, they simply bounced off her chin and settled into the seat of her high chair or on the floor. She's getting better at it, though. It is amazing to watch her grow into a more independent being and to watch her stuff her whole hand into her mouth to make sure the food gets in there. I love seeing her poke the rice cracker into her mouth, chomp down on it, and push it to the side of her mouth with either her tongue or her finger. I am captivated by her innocent exploration of the palate and by the satisfaction she gets from feeding herself. I never want to forget this feeling of pride as I watch my baby grow and experience her world. There is still an immeasurable amount of things for Madeleine to savour but I already miss bearing witness to her learning and comprehension. Can I relive these moments? Please?

Five hundred days ago, I was able to put on my new beige corduroy pants and actually do up the zipper and button. I did not have to suck in my gut nor did I fear tearing them at the seams if I sat down. When I found out I was pregnant, one thought that ran through my mind was, "Will I ever fit into these new clothes?" Granted, I did accidentally shrink a number of my dress shirts so I had many doubts that wearing them ever again would be little more than just a dream.

Before I headed out to run some errands this morning, I contemplated squeezing my rolls into those corduroy pants and measuring how far up I could zip them. To my astonishment and utter bewilderment, they fit. I mean, I could actually zip them and button them, and do so with ease. Mind you, they were a bit snug and my jelly belly did overhang slightly, but they fit! Hurrah! Finally, a pair of pre-pregnancy pants that doesn't cling to my cellulite like Saran wrap!

It boggles my mind that after the first month or two of rapid weight loss, I have not been able to shed a single one of those residual pregnancy pounds. My baby has just turned 8 months and over 50% of my weight gain still haunts me. But not today. Today I can wear my old pants that feel brand new. Today I can walk around and experience a hint of the slenderness I once enjoyed. It really made my day. I was walking around with an extra hop in my step and the occasional glance in the full-length mirror. I completed all of my errands, came back home and took out the six-pack of root beer I purchased to celebrate the blissful occasion. Then I was brought back to reality as I dropped a can directly on the tip of my big toe. I guess that was some sort of a sign signalling the need to refrain from ingesting sugary foods. Or maybe it wasn't...

I'm looking into some local Yoga classes.

I've missed you, Yoga. I'll be back soon!

We're off on a 4-day, 3-night adventure with baby Madeleine to a ski resort. This should be interesting. I hope there's some decent snow. I hope Madeleine is okay during the 2-hour drive. I hope I don't break my neck skiing. I hope I didn't forget to pack anything....

In the meantime, I hope all my readers enjoy their March Break. I look forward to reading up on all your blogs when I get back. Ta ta for now!

"Gimme a break!"

That was a recurring thought in my head during the early months of nursing. Give me a break. I was reading this post and kept nodding to myself, having experienced something similar. I could totally relate to having a baby hanging off your breast every hour of the day for those first four months. I didn't use a shield but I did pump and could only manage on average 2 oz. sometimes 4 per pump. But it was frustrating to have to pump on one side while the baby sucked on the other or pumping when I finally managed to put my baby down. I had set small goals for nursing.

During the first two painful weeks and after resorting to desperate measures [we tried to give her regular formula (we later found organic formula ) but she would have nothing of it], I aimed at 1 month of exclusive breastfeeding. That was quite a feat for me so I aimed at 3 months, then 6 months, as recommended by the Canadian Pediatric Society. But to my dismay, my apparent "lack of milk" lead to serious concern from everyone around me. I was stressed beyond belief because I felt like everyone thought I wasn't seeing the potential harm I would do to my dear child if I didn't agree to supplement her breastfeeding.

While I understood that her weight gain wasn't substantial, I did agree with my doctor that 1 lb per month for a baby born at 6lbs was sufficient. I was also of the opinion that if everyone would just leave me alone and let me relax, I could get my milk to flow more easily. The issue was temporarily dropped. Until the concerns resurfaced and I felt like I was undergoing an intervention. At Maddie's 5 month checkup we found out her weight gain dropped slightly, which prompted the doctor to suggest introducing solids early.

Well, that was the final straw. I lost my battle along with my patience and much self-confidence. I apparently was wrong after all. I was devastated. I couldn't reach my third goal and felt like a failure. I was unable to give my daughter what I felt was best for her. But I do understand 5 months of exclusive breastfeeding is better than nothing. I'm happy I got that far. So we introduced solids a little early and now here we are.

Maddie is taking her morning nap and I can read blogs and write my own. I still nurse Maddie when she is fussy or needs to go to sleep. She's drinking about 3-4 bottles of formula a day and is ready to be introduced to meats. She's still quite energetic as she has always been only now she is just a bit chubbier. On one hand, it's almost sad having to put away her old clothes that no longer fit. On the other hand, it's almost a relief to near the end of a chapter on breastfeeding that I would rather forget.

For the past few days, I've been waking up feeling a bit ill. I will feel a dull but annoying burning sensation in my stomach as well as some minor heartburn. I know it's due to gallstones. I found out last December. Since the last few weeks of my pregnancy, I've experienced several major attacks that have rendered me useless. Yes, useless. I wouldn't be able to do a thing aside from curling up into a ball or pacing back and forth, hoping that the pain in my chest and in my back wouldn't last 4 hours. Apparently, gallstones are quite common in women who have been pregnant. When I went in for my ultrasound to determine the cause of my pain, the childless nurse made an interesting comment: Pregnancy seems to be rather unhealthy, doesn't it?

I thought about that for a moment, pondered about my own personal experience and made a mental list of arguments in favour of that theory.

#1. Much of your insides get squished together, causing discomfort, lack of breath/appetite, digestive problems, etc.

#2. Your hormones are sent on a roller coaster ride and you can't make heads or tails if you're coming or going.

#3. Your body retains water, your blood pressure rises and you risk cutting off circulation to your lower limbs if you sleep the wrong way.

#4. During labour, you get a huge needle jammed into your spine while trying to stay still amid excruciating contractions. Check that, I had two epidurals. The first one missed. We'll make that point #5.

#6. Your body tears, requiring stitches.

This list could go on but #6 is a strong enough point on its own.

So now I have to add to this list the incapacitating pain of gallstones. Unlike supermoms who go to work regardless of feeling like they've been hit by a Mack truck, I am quite content with doing nothing. I'd rather curl up under a blanket on the sofa in my pj's with my messy hair and just vegetate. I am certainly not looking forward to the return of my "monthly visitor", that's for sure.

I'm going under the knife, and the laparascope, in about two months time. Until then, I need to avoid raw veggies, corn, beans, fruit with the skin left on, coffee, spicy foods and fatty foods.

People keep asking me when I plan to have another kid. I think they should ask me again after my surgery!

Well, today is the day my darling, innocent daughter goes under the needle for the third time. It's one of the most difficult moments of my life as mom to bear witness to the pain caused by something that is supposed to be healthy for my little girl. I understand the negative ramifications of choosing not to have my daughter be immunized but there are times when I wonder if it would be best to take a chance by waiting until absolutely necessary (ie. when I have to enroll my daughter in school). As a teacher, I could not help but be a little shocked when parents would bring their kids to school to be enrolled without being fully immunized.
Now, however, I have a better understanding of the pros and cons of immunizing my tiny baby and can't help but cringe everytime I take her into the doctor's office to immunize her from illnesses that I've read about in history books.

What were you doing 10 years ago?
Let's see... I need a calculator for this one... (It's amazing how much you forget when you stop teaching for a few months!) That was 1996. I was... 18 years old and in grade... 12. I believe I was just getting my first taste of French Teaching since I was enrolled in a co-operative education course. I was working part-time as a clerk in the meat/deli/seafood department of a grocery store. I wore large goofy-looking glasses with tinted transitional lenses and didn't realize how much bigger my nose looked just by wearing them. Hindsight, unlike my vision, is 20/20.

What were you doing 1 year ago?
Recovering from writing a tonne of report cards and co-planning a French Carnavale. Oh, and counting down the days until March Break.

Five snacks I enjoy:
1. Mars Bar
2. Chocolate Chip / White Chocolate Macademia Nut Cookies
3. Ketchup / Salt & Vinegar Chips
4. Donuts
5. Berries

Five songs to which I know all the lyrics:
1. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
2. There Was an Old Woman Who Swallowed a Fly
3. Frere Jacques
4. O Canada (in English and French)
5. Baby Got Back - Sir Mix-A-Lot

Five things I would do if I were a millionaire:
1. Pay off our mortgage.
2. Invest.
3. Visit the Seven Wonders of the world.
4. Correct my vision so I wouldn't have to rely on glasses.
5. Teach the world to sing in perfect harmony.

Five bad / annoying habits:
1. Procrastinating.
2. Chewing on my tongue while concentrating hard.
3. Making popping noises with chewing gum.
4. Correcting people's grammatical errors
5. Picking at my pimples.

Five things I like doing:
1. Yoga
2. Salsa dancing
3. Puzzles
4. Singing to / Playing with Madeleine
5. Working on the computer (especially creating my own teacher resources)

Five things I would never buy, wear, or get new again:
1. Bikini (thank you stretch marks!)
2. Blonde highlights
3. Half my wardrobe
4. Any Ford vehicle
5. A new house. I'm sick of moving.

Five favorite toys:
1. Jacks
2. Hula hoop
3. Cabbage Patch doll
4. Perfection / SuperPerfection / Head-to-head Perfection
5. Rubix Cube

Here's the deal: Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot:
1. Desperate Housewife
2. My Blog Is About Nothing
3. The Mama
4. The Tales of Mama D
5. Toronto Teacher Mom Blog

Then select five people to tag: (This is all I've got so far)
1. Wishful Thinking
2. Ramblings of a Tired Teacher

It's Friday. Finally! Why am I so excited? We're heading to Hamilton to stay with my parents for the weekend. We haven't done that since New Year's so I'm really looking forward to it. Not only does it feel like staying at a Bed & Breakfast, but, on a more serious note, my family gets to spend some quality time with our little girl who refuses to stop growing. It's hard enough for me (having born witness to all of the subtle changes Madeleine is going through on a daily basis) to accept the fact that my little baby is not so little anymore. I can only imagine how hard it is for my family to go for so long without being able to share in the joys of watching her develop. I'm pretty good with taking pictures often and sharing them with my friends and family online but they never truly capture the miracle of Maddie.

And do you know what else? This will be the first weekend since we've moved into our new home where we can finally just sit back and relax. We've been busy entertaining guests weekly since the beginning of February. I'm not complaining, especially since my husband does most of the cooking. (I'm still tuning my skills in that department.) Plus, it's a great reason to see people I haven't had the luxury of seeing in a while so it's been all good. Just last weekend I got to play with my goddaughter for the first time since New Year's. I got to see her mother pregnant again and I got to spend time with my childhood friend of 22 years. The weekend before that, I had my brother and his fiancee over as well as a friend who I haven't seen since September. That's 5 months! Way too long! And before that, my sister's family and my parents came for dinner. I also discovered I like playing hostess.

Anyway, as much as it is difficult being away from close friends and family, I'm really happy that I started blogging. I've been reading some very entertaining blogs such as this and this and this, and in doing so I've already received some helpful tips, words of wisdom and more importantly, I've made some worthwhile connections with people I have something in common with.

Wait a minute... I just received another email notification... Later!

What do you do when your baby goes pooh
And it rides all the way up her back?
Do you shrug, do you sigh, or ask yourself, "Why?"
Or succumb to a nervous attack?

~ By Diana M.