Happy New Year! Or Is It? | Toronto Teacher Mom

Happy New Year! Or Is It?

Sunday, January 06, 2013

Another year has come and gone. And while I'll take a cup o' kindness yet and cheers to love and friendship, a part of me feels very sad and nostalgic when I think of auld lang syne. I've been reminiscing upon my childhood, way back when I was young and carefree. When my family and friends seemed so youthful and relatively healthy. I think back to the days when I would sleep in on Saturday mornings and spend a midsummer Sunday at the lake with my family. My dad would be standing near the barbecue prepping the charcoal for our noontime feast, my mother busily setting the picnic table before throwing together a fresh salad. And the rest of us, my brother, my sister and I, we would be gleefully splashing about on the lake's shore, none the wiser that life would never get any easier than that. And then, someone hollers, "Mommy! Mommy!" and my thoughts return to present day, 2013.
I lift my head slightly from my pillow to be greeted by my children who are over the moon at the sight of snow falling to the ground. 

"Can we go tobogganing today, mommy? Can we? Please?!"

And suddenly it hits me.

My babies are babies no more.

I am simultaneously amazed by their glowing personalities and joie de vivre, but also overwhelmed by my selfish desire to turn back the hands of time so that I could cradle my newborn babes in my arms just one more time. I want to be able to rock them back and forth while singing them a lullaby and be rewarded with a gummy grin...

To hold their tiny hands in mine.
To watch them learn to crawl.
To cheer as they begin to walk
And help them when they fall.
To take them for a quiet stroll.
To push them in a swing.
To hug, to kiss their rosy cheeks...
Oh, what a glorious thing!

My daughter is now seven and a half years old and my son will be turning five in a few short months. They are both so beautiful and loving, and they are really coming into their own. I couldn't be more proud of who they are. But am I crazy to want to relive those endless months of carrying them inside me and suffering the incredible pains and aftereffects of childbirth? Because I would.

I miss those baby days. 

So much.

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  1. I know exactly how you feel. My oldest is 7.5 as well and sometimes he even seems so much older than that. I would do anything to have those baby days back again. Even my 3 year old...growing up so fast. Hugs mama, you're not alone.

    1. Thanks, Jen. It seems lately the kids are going through a growth spurt. My son especially. He just seems so tall and has lost all of his baby features. *sigh*

  2. Yep, it is going by all too fast...each year zooms by. I know exactly what you mean. Virtual hugs to you!

    1. I think back over the past eight years and it's hard to believe all that has happened and how much the kids have grown. Thanks for the the hugs, Julia!

  3. I wish we could have those memories with all the kids together....Bronte Creek, Christie...but the best where the ones where we had to pack and leave super early only to end up at Balls Falls....hahahahah
    mmmmm those BBQs were always the best

    Yea those where the good old innocent days. Time does fly so we must live each day as best we can. Big hugs xoxox

    1. The memories of Bronte Creek and Rock Point are some of the best. We should try to make it out to the lake with the whole family this summer. It would be a blast!

  4. Look at those precious little angels. Can completely understand where you're coming from :)

    1. Especially now that your eldest is in school. I'm just trying to soak in as much of these years as possible. I don't want them to grow up! LOL


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