This past week has seen many highs and lows coupled with the stresses of managing a busy schedule and finalizing report cards. I've laughed with my children, yelled at Cristiano Ronaldo during game one, and cried with my sister as we chatted via Facebook. On Friday, I mowed the lawn, washed my Jeep, and cursed the weeds. Saturday morning, I attended an advance screening by my lonesome since the kids had to have their soccer pictures taken. Afterwards, I watched teenage girls chase Justin Bieber down Richmond Street as his car drove passed following a sound check on the Much Music Video Awards stage. Sunday was spent with my entire family in Hamilton, oohing and ahhing over the thunderous jet fighters, snowbirds and other aircraft as they flew over my parents' backyard during the Hamilton Air Show. And today, I woke up feeling different.
Today, I resigned to the fact that, as much as I would love to hold onto the idealistic view of how my life should be, there are certain things I cannot change. And while it saddens me to think that my life will never be exactly as I had once imagined it would be, there comes a certain sense of peace with the realization that I no longer need to force myself to struggle for the unattainable. Some may regard this as giving up or giving in. But maybe it should be more about forgiving. Forgiving others who may have reacted out of circumstance, forgiving myself for losing sight of what's truly important. I don't know. I will tell you, though, that one of my goals is to incorporate mindfulness into my day-to-day life. To call my attention to the present moment, and as Laurel @Optimom wisely suggested to me when we first met, just let it go. Let go of the past. Let go of negative emotions. Let go of the things I cannot change.
Three small words that could very well be my saving grace.
Let it go.
- Monday, June 18, 2012
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